December 1st

     It's been two years today.

     For most other people besides me, December 1st is just December 1st. You know, 24 days until Christmas. But I don't think it will ever be that way for me.

     It's been two years today since I woke up before the crack of dawn in order to get checked in for my back surgery. To the outside eye, the effects of that surgery were mainly physical. A straightened back, more height, and for the first few weeks, a lot of pain.

     But oddly enough, over the past few months, whenever I thought about that surgery it wasn't the physical aspect that I was mainly focusing on. Not the pain, not the gain in height, not the fact that I can now say my spine is reinforced by titanium. Nope.

     To me, that surgery changed the course of my life because it opened my eyes to the incredible work of those in the medical field. During the 4 days I was in the hospital, I experienced firsthand just how much a person can be impacted by caring nurses and CNAs. Most of the memories of that stay have faded away, but I haven't forgotten how much they did for me (and who knows how much I never even knew about!) After I got out of the hospital, I decided that I wanted to take my love of science and use it to help other people too. So I decided to enter the medical field.

     That's why I slept in late today.
    Er, I should probably rephrase that as "I slept in after coming home late from a p.m. shift as a CNA."

     And, I can say that I absolutely love being a CNA. Considering that I'm only a month and a half into the job, I might be jumping the gun a bit, but so far it's true! And if it weren't for my back surgery, I probably wouldn't have made the decision to become one.

    I wouldn't ever know how it feels to be asked "Where's my hug?"from the elderly woman every night that I help her into bed.
     I wouldn't know the thrill of seeing the wordless resident's face light up whenever she sees me walk onto the floor.
    I wouldn't know the sense of being wanted whenever a resident hopefully asks if I'll be working with them that night.

     Granted, I also wouldn't know the panic of racing to find a container for a green-at-the-gills resident. I wouldn't have gotten to experience cleaning up a "Code Brown" on my 2nd day either. But hey. It's part of the job.

     For sure, there's been more than one time that I've wondered what I've gotten myself into. The times when we were short-staffed, my stress-levels were running overtime, and I was still trying to navigate the learning curve of a new position. The times when my shift was supposed to be over and all I wanted to do was sleep, but still had to finish charting.

      But a month and a half in, I'm realizing that I love it anyway. Now that I've made it through most of the learning curve, I'm sure that I'm headed in the right direction. In just a short month and a half, I've already met so many inspiring people, both coworkers and residents, who have made an impact on who I am as a caretaker. Despite the stress, despite the late nights, despite the fact that I'm either going to lose weight from running a marathon each shift or gain weight from snacking so much keeping myself awake on the drive home, I don't think I'd rather have any other job right now.

And that's why December 1st is a whole lot more than 24 days until Christmas.

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